Ask me and I'll tell

I am living the life I was born to live. I strongly abide by the motto, “Safety Third.� Every time I go for a swim, dolphins appear. I chase vodka with high fives. I am lover not a fighter, but I’m a fighter too so don’t get any ideas. I have never lost a sock. I once climbed Mount Everest, Mount Kilimanjaro, and K-2 using only one bottle of oxygen and a sack of trail mix. I wouldn’t kick you out of bed, unless you wanted to cuddle on the floor. I don’t care how bad ass you are, if a toddler hands you a toy phone, you always answer it.